I walk every day in my neighborhood and often walk through a small cemetery nearby because it is quiet, traffic free, and animals like deer and hawks are there. Last week, I had a series of hurtful interactions, including two painful rejections of writing projects I have spent years working on. These writing projects helped me get through the pandemic and also the loneliness of my home-life as my partner’s mental and physical health problems have increased during the past few years. I was feeling very discouraged by the discounting messages by people I had asked to read my writing, and even more alone. As I walked my dog in the cemetery one windy spring day, I found a pink tag on the ground saying, “I NEED A HOME, I found a quilted heart.” I picked up the tag but didn’t see any heart. I felt like the words “I need a home” expressed how I feel, that longing for a place where my words, my voice, my heart is welcomed and nurtured. I usually bounce back from criticism more readily, but this time I continued to feel unable to regain my courage after the hurtful criticism of my writing. I began asking for a sign that I am meant to continue with these writing projects. A few days later, I walked my dog in the cemetery again and found the heart hanging from a post. I looked at it but didn’t take it. I thought someone else might need it more than me. But later I went to the website on the tag, and it encouraged me that finding the heart meant it was for me. A day later, I went back looking for the heart and it was still there, waiting for me. The sign I was looking for had been trying to get through to me and finally did! I am hanging the heart up over my writing desk at home, so grateful for whatever person in my neighborhood made it and left it for me to find.
